Comments for Oriental and Asian Rugs

Comment on PLEASE HELP! There are GHOST on my street? by ©@$h

©@$h — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 23:08:48 +0000

you sound like you writing a book !

Comment on Need Opinions on my opening short-story paragraph:)? by petlover948

petlover948 — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:24:27 +0000

I think you should specify the yucky taste as being the taste in your mouth when you wake up (I assume this is what you meant)
“morning taste”

I do not know the age level you are writting this story for but I would suggest removing “shitty” if it isn’t at least college level.

Dishes still rotting in the sink; our rugs embroidered with cat fur.

I would change the “I would fire her, I thought.” to I will fire her, I thought.

Seems pretty good overall

Comment on PLEASE HELP! There are GHOST on my street? by Italian chic

Italian chic — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 04:04:51 +0000

Ummmm WTF! hahahahahaha!

Comment on Need Opinions on my opening short-story paragraph:)? by guinnevere34

guinnevere34 — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 14:15:00 +0000

It’s very good–you’re definitely grabbing my attention and setting a distinct tone. But there’s a sense of a “jump” in time that’s a bit confusing–the first sentence implies that it’s presently morning, then a few sentences later, we realize it’s the end of the day. Smoothe the transition by rearranging some details and directly linking the first sentence to the current “time”–ie, “Like the yucky taste in my mouth, she was here every morning; yet unlike a good swish of mouthwash, at the end of the day, there was no minty fresh remedy for the germs that she left behind. As I threw my keys on the bench and walked into my home that evening, I wondered again why we hired a maid at all. It wasn’t my idea. My husband insisted that our tall lamp shades and oriental rugs needed attention. Hadn’t my cleaning been good enough? I looked around: Dishes still rotted in the sink. Our rugs were embroidered with cat fur. My neck ached; it had been a shitty day.
I should fire her, I thought.”

Just a suggestion!

Comment on Need Opinions on my opening short-story paragraph:)? by Elaine L

Elaine L — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 08:15:41 +0000

Very interesting, I would like to see where this story will go. If it were my story, I would:

I would replace “Like the yucky taste in my mouth, she was here every morning” with something more along the lines of “Every morning is the same, day in and day out, her presents in our household irked me like the rancid taste of indigestion. Yet, unlike that discomfort, a pill can’t make a person disappear.”

The only other thing I would change is “I looked around. Dishes still rotted in the sink. Our rugs were embroidered with cat fur.” and replace it with “I looked around, in the kitchen the dishes still sat in dirty sink water and out in the living room rugs were coated with cat fur. I couldn’t bare to look any further, a good waste of money… money that could be saved for our future.”

However, thats my personal opinion… I’m sure some else might have a better suggestion or a more valid opinion. I just figured I throw my views out there, maybe it will inspire you more.

Comment on How do give parents advice on style? by experiencedmotherof4

experiencedmotherof4 — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 10:50:22 +0000

Perhaps a discussion with a couple of interior designers would help them out. They would have to hire them for a consultation, but they could get two or three opinions that would help them design something to their taste that isn’t too overblown. There are also many many shows on HGTV, DIY channel, and Discovery Home I think it’s called, that show redecorations, clean outs and all that. There are literally so many shows that your parents would be hard pressed to refute your claim that style has changed. I would also leave magazines around that show many examples of modern design and decor, alot of them as some will inevitably get thrown away by parents angry that you won’t mind your own business when it comes to decorating their home. Inevitably though, if you leave enough, there is bound to be a design that captures their imagination and hopefully improves the atmosphere for you. If not, there isn’t too much else you can do short of flat out sending them on vacation and decorating the house for them. Even then you run the risk of them hating it and burning it to the ground in protest lol. And not for nothing, if your future potential spouse has only bad decorating taste to deal with with your parents she will most likely thank her lucky stars. There are far worse afflictions for a parent to present to a future spouse, trust me.

Comment on Need Opinions on my opening short-story paragraph:)? by Mary

Mary — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 07:55:33 +0000

Like the yucky taste in my mouth, she was here every morning. UM why do you have this “yucky taste” in your mouth. If you’re write a simile, it has to be a creative one, one that inspires a really mindblowing deeper message without trying to and it has to relate to the sentence action-are you saying you have a yucky taste in your mouth every morning? Your simile is a bit random and maybe even disturbing, not in a good way, sorry. I do like the random start tho the “…she was here every morning”. It just needs some work.

I wondered why we hired a maid at all. It wasn’t my idea. My husband insisted that our tall lamp shades and oriental rugs needed attention.
THIS SOUNDS really fake. Would you actually talk like that? No offense if you actually do talk like that. If you don’t change the tone, at least change the tense to like “why we had hired…my husband had insisted” oh and a name for your husband would be nice too unless you’re trying to be mysterious. which is nice too, just make it worth the reader’s puzzlement.
Hadn’t my cleaning been good enough? Ok sentence.
I threw my keys on the bench and walked inside. My neck ached; it had been a shitty day. (care to explain why?)
I looked around. (UGH!!! a bit too simple and unnatural.) Dishes still rotted in the sink. (Do dishes actually rot? you might want to say something more like you do in your next sentence like “I could see fungus on the dishes which had been in the sink for days.” Our rugs were embroidered with cat fur.
I would fire her, I thought. (Be more angry!!!)

No comments could be harsher than that of my ex-english teacher. So please, bombs away!!!

Comment on How do give parents advice on style? by chelleb

chelleb — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 05:55:44 +0000

Maybe the way the house is reminds them of having kids starting a family. I think maybe you should re-do your house and let them enjoy what makes them feel at home. When you are older being hip and modern are not the way to spend your time. Be a happy girl you have both parents. i think you should just learn to kick it old style.

Comment on How do give parents advice on style? by !SuuGarCarAMel!

!SuuGarCarAMel! — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 05:41:41 +0000

okay first….parents are like that…
they are old enough to know what they are doing. ..and its their house…
would you like them going over to your place and telling you…the furniture is not in the right spot…or your bedding does not match your theme…no huh?
okay….first…why be embarrased…omg! everyone knows that every once in a while
they were embarrased of their parents…and maybe you shouldnt just buy the furniture
spend some more time with them and help them out…..
find someone to help you guys out…
work together as a family to get what you all guys like….
i think thats the best thing to do…

oh well if you dont like my answer..

Comment on PLEASE HELP! There are GHOST on my street? by plip.webs.com

plip.webs.com — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 01:05:21 +0000

just dont go back to the mansion u idiot!